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Buffy - Willow and Tara

Camels - The Answer To Everything?

Posted on 2005.03.04 at 22:51
Tags: , , , , ,
Well in these modern days of running around after burglars and hiding from nuclear bombs there are certainly many problems in the world. However the question I pose to you is: can camels really be the answer to all these problems?

No. Probably not.

Anyway I bought Series 6 of Red Dwarf on DVD today and as I wandered around the city centre I found myself wondering why the hell it was taking so long to release all 8 series of the thing. The following, although I can not vouch for it's basis in fact, is true and is why Red Dwarf is taking so long to bring to DVD.

Shortly after Series 8 was filmed the studio where all the footage of Red Dwarf was being stored was robbed, luckily the robbers weren't after the Red Dwarf footage but in fact they were looking for a hole in the space-time continuum that would take them back in time to kill Overus Marandum, the famous playwright, before he ever became famous... or something. Time travel is so fucking weird. Anyway the point is that they left the door open and a horde of magpies flew into the studio and stole all the footage from Red Dwarf. And so the footage is lost, forever gone.
However a slim hope remains. A detective by the name of Cubius Von Lesbiartus while investigating the bizarre robbery made an amazing discovery of lots of magpie feathers on the floor. He followed this trail of feathers to the local nest, but horror of horrors, magpie smugglers had already stolen the nest and without realising the film of red dwarf. They had taken it to their mafia headquarters in Prague. However upon discovering all this film they decided that they would play a little game, they attached a tiny peice of film each to 500 snails and then set them loose in many locations around the world. A couple of years ago a snail arrived at the police station in Australia where through interpretive dance it told the police officer at the desk it's story. Since then teams of millions have been scouring the world for these bits of film and the progress is slow, however at the rate they are currently making they have enough footage to release 2 series a year.

And there you go. The truth that the government didn't want you to hear.

Comments:


CJA
cja_3000 at 2005-03-04 22:55 (UTC) (Link)
Im calling the police!
Though I dont know how sting can help with this one...

Also I propose this, you legally change your name too Cubius Von Lesbiartus.

Kit-Kat anyone?
catindisguise at 2005-03-06 19:20 (UTC) (Link)
I want a kit-kat.

That's a stupid name. Cubey McHat is much better.

I want a camel too.
Cyberninja
cube_166 at 2005-03-06 20:58 (UTC) (Link)
Imagine if I changed my name to Cubey McHat... people would always be mistaking us for a married couple... is that really want you want? is it!?
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