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Buffy - Willow and Tara

A bizarre blend of reality and irreality

Posted on 2010.08.30 at 02:01
Tags: ,
I have just resumed playing Secret Agent Clank after a lengthy and not entirely unwarranted pause of about a month or so, and returning to it my first thoughts are (more or less) what the fuck? This game is just bizarre to play, primarily because it feels like reality is crumbling in on itself and gradually being replaced with the plot of show within a show Secret Agent Clank. And it hurts my brain to try to conceive of the reason why this is so. Let me take you on a little journey through my thought processes.

So this game is made by High Impact Games, unlike the rest of the Ratchet and Clank canon which is made by Insomniac. Eagle-brained readers may already have come to the conclusion that: aha! it is because it is made by another developer who has little experience in the Ratchet and Clank universe. In which case a) High Impact Games stop being so lazy and b) High Impact Games in the past made a game called Daxter; a Jak and Daxter spinoff which kept to accepted canon, was reasonably fun to play (insofar as a PSP game can be thought of as fun) and was funny. If a game studio can make a game like Daxter then how the hell did I end up sat in my bedroom with this thing which defies explanation plugged in the back of my PSP? The other option is that perhaps they made a conscious decision to combine the canonicity of both the actual universe and the show within a show. I actually don't know which would be worst. That they were so lazy they couldn't have someone playing through the Ratchet and Clank back catalogue to ensure that their ideas made sense on any level, or that they decided to screw it and just do what they wanted. One is lazy, the other is stupid bordering on insulting.

Oh and yeah the game itself... well in the story Klunk is the enemy and in the gameplay clunkiness is the enemy. An awful pun I know, but an accurate one. The whole thing feels very forced; like the Ratchet Prison Arena segments that add nothing to the game, the forced inclusion of Captain Qwark as we once again get to hear him making ridiculous outrageous boasts (Qwark should really have been given a heroic sacrifice and killed off for real in Tools of Destruction, his storyline is played out and his character is now beyond uninteresting) and the clunky puzzly segments with the gadgebots. In fact even the main gameplay segments, the stealth missions as Clank are difficult to control and just generally bad.

In fact screw this review, I could have saved myself all this bother by just summarizing the game in one word: Bad. I'm not finished yet so this isn't really an official review, but barring any eleventh hour miracles I am pretty much prepared to say that this is the worst game I have played in a long time, not helped by the PSP medium, and give it a score of 1/10.

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