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Scrubs - Elliot/Carla

Of Birds In Walls

Posted on 2009.05.12 at 19:47
Current Mood:: amusedamused
Last night there was Prison Break and Ashes To Ashes and How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory and House and Brothers and Sisters, but the focus of the night was none of these. The focus of the night was Wall-Bird. No it's not a new TV series, although someone should turn it into a TV series because it would be great. It's the bird that's living in my wall. Can you believe that? The cheek of a bird to think it can just come and live in my wall and not have to pay me any rent or nothing. And it's always scratching around at all hours of the night. Stupid bird. I was still up at half past six this morning thanks to Wall-Bird. We thought it was a squirrel at the time but apparently a neighbour has spotted birds nesting in the drainpipe or a hole in the drainpipe or something. Which is good news really. When I thought it was a squirrel it had garnered some sympathy. Squirrels are nice, playful animals who if they happen to get trapped in a wall it's probably by accident while they were looking for a way to come and be your friend. Or something. Birds aren't as sympathetic. Now that I know it's a bird I'd be happy to brick over wherever this hole is and let the bird starve to death. No offence it's just natural selection. Smart birds stay out of people's walls and thus they go on to reproduce and create children birds which are also smart enough to stay out of people's walls. In other words if I bricked up that hole I'd be helping birdkind as a whole and soon they'd evolve to the point where they could lead an aerial assault against mankind like in Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. Or something. I think I'm losing the thread of this topic a bit. I was trying to say that when I thought I had a wall squirrel I'd nicknamed him Monty and mentally pictured him wearing a top hat. It's cruel to let a squirrel in a top hat starve to death I think.

Anyway that's all the latest Wall-Bird news. Stay tuned for more of it's death-defying exploits as they happen.

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