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Buffy - Willow and Tara


Posted on 2004.07.09 at 23:31
Current Mood:: squirrelish
Current Music:: Kosheen - Gone
Tags: , , , , ,
Okay this is the last one of my irrelevant kind of rambling posts, I promise that from today on I'll just sit here and talk nonsense about lesbians and devil possessed screwdrivers after this... but I really feel that I should tell everyone about the time when Phil was living in the library. It was going to happen on a Saturday or a Sunday. The library at the time would have a science fiction section hidden from everyone at the back, where Washington Irving would be meeting him to discuss the plan that he was concocting. Well Lee and I were there, but Washington Irving wasn't to be. We'd take with us a blanket and probably a bowl of cereal or something. They would be set out by the time Phil was approaching and Lee would be in the undergrowth ready to photograph him. You see we knew that Phil lived in the library. He hung out there with his hanging baskets that he got for his birthday hung outside, and whenever we saw him there his bike was there too. So we weren't making stuff up, we were just proving the truth. This would have started the war between us and Phil that eventually would have caused the whole school to overflow in a flood of pranks and prank photographs and stuff. Then eventually we'd be brought in front of Mr. Buchynski, the headmaster from Canada or someplace. However that didn't happen because Lee lost the thread of the conversation when I declared that Wayne's brother had been overcharging me at the newsagents down the road from the school. I did once go toe to toe with Mr. Buchynski though. He was from Canada and thus his mind was on bigger and better things than quality of education or any of that unnecessary nonsense. His mind was populated with squirrels.

Now this may sound strange but it is 100% true. He came in on the third year in a flash of glory, he'd make these speeches and they all followed the same inevitable pattern. He came in and talked about how much of a delinquent he'd been and how he'd changed and worked hard and had got good grades... well nobody cares. He prattled that out on every occasion he was required to say things. The squirrels obsessed him, and it was rumoured that his brain had been munched away by squirrels who now sat at the control panel to his brain. The new school logo was a blue squirrel. The old hallway floor was replastered and included a blue squirrel. It wormed its way onto the desks and tables, into the schools literature reaching epidemic proportions before I left with the legendary 'Blue Squirrel Memo' still in a buzz, it was a memo that he'd sent out shortly before snapping which just repeated the words Blue Squirrel up until the signature where it was signed 'Blue Squirrel' in blood. However before this incident I was in his office once and there was a statue on the table. It was a small squirrel with a rock, and the squirrel was scrabbling up the rock looking towards the heavens. As you stared the whole scene unfolded. The squirrel was Buchynski, the rock the school and suddenly a heavenly light wallowed the whole scene and I backed away out of the office. Claiming I'd never been invited, avoiding him. A year after I left I heard that the place had been converted into a temple unto squirrels and Buchynski was the high priest. The police had him surrounded but because of his giant attack squirrels they couldn't release the children from the cold dark grip of the squirrel lord.

In other news: "Cube insinuates that Cat might be a lesbian!" says Cja


cja_3000 at 2004-07-09 22:42 (UTC) (Link)
That other news is great, it mentions me....

But interesting stuff Cube but ya know whats more interesting my junior school head mistress was called Mrs. Buchynski isnt that intersting? It is isnt it? Better say yes damn it!

No seriously Cube your school seemed to be a fairly interesting nut house of a place.

Well im falling asleep which may explain the lack of quality and origionality of this post.
catindisguise at 2004-07-10 16:46 (UTC) (Link)


*nukes CJA*

That other news sucked and your posts always lack originality and interest, CJA. :p

What the hell was wrong with your school cube? I think that your head master was really a giant evil squirrel alien with laser eyes. Yeah. That's it.....
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