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Buffy - Willow and Tara

Review your love, review your pain. Reviews your shoes cause they're random again.

Posted on 2008.09.14 at 01:12
Current Mood:: amusedamused
Tags: , ,
Reviews are random again. Not your shoes although they could be random again. How you choose what shoes to wear is your own business. My business is the business of randomly reviewing things in a random manner. You know how it works by now. I go onto wikipedia and hit random article and review whatever article comes up. The unwritten addendum to this process is that if for some reason I don't want to review the thing that comes up (like for example it's a private military company that could if it wanted have me killed) I don't have to and I just click random article again. So with that in mind lets have this weeks random review. This week the spotlight falls on the town of Castelforte. (By the way that's the only time in the entire review that I'll spell the name of this place correctly. Deal with it.)

Now Castleforte is a town in Italy and if you ask me it sounds like a very well defended town, containing both a castle and a fort. And an e, but anagrams are never perfect. If they were what would be the point of manufacture? Couldn't we just break down existing things and reform their component peices to create new and exciting products. Erm... nevermind. I went all a bit weird there and questioned the fundamental nature of the universe. And although I can put the fun back into questioning the fundamental nature of the universe it's hardly what you've come here to hear about is it? No right you came here for a random review and I promise if next time I randomly review something I randomly pick the 'fundamental nature of the universe' article then I'll definately do some questioning. That and make obscure references involving a universe populated entirely by shrimp.
Anyway Castleforte as has been established is a well guarded place but why is it so well guarded you might ask. Just what is so good about Castleforte that it's inhabitants will fight to the death to protect it? According to wikipedia it is "located at the feet of the Monti Aurunci massif" but I imagine that the Monti Aurunci massif is just the name given to the secret society that guards the secrets of Castleforte. It's like a classic secret society name except just a little bit more urban. Anyway wikipedia pointedly avoids the subject of the secret of Castleforte, which I suppose is to be expected. A trained eye can glean hundreds of clues from such a wikipedia article though and I do believe I have uncovered the secret. You see Castleforte is the home of the world's largest firework; "Il Kathryyn Rota Diablo!"
Legend has it that Il Kathryyn Rota Diablo! is the Catherine Wheel of the Devil and that it is the instrument that the Devil shall use to bring about the Apocalypse. It was captured from the Satan worshippers known as the Cult of Bonphiomet by the knights of the Roman Candle and brought to Castleforte (because Castleforte is very well protected because it has both a castle and a fort. And an e but we've covered that already) to be guarded in the Cave of the Thousand Sparklers for all eternity. Anyway I'm off to pull on my leather jacket, hat and bullwhip and do something completely unrelated to the legend of Il Kathryyn Rota Diablo! I'm probably going to look at lesbian porn or buy an anvil or something. You know, the usual stuff. Not saving the world from a giant evil Catherine Wheel. I almost never do that kind of thing.

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