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Tatu 40

Cube Answers The Questions of the Future!

Posted on 2008.08.11 at 19:01
Current Mood:: satisfiedsatisfied
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Because I'm such a genius I'm about to use up all my inspiration for the next ten days in one, probably not very interesting livejournal entry. If this isn't entertaining enough come and watch me flounder around for content over the next week and a bit. Here we go!

How have you used internet research to save money?

I have only ever used internet research because I don't have any other form of research. Plus internet research can hardly be called research in the proper researchy sense of the word. And you know why? Because the internet is made of lies. Lies and porn. And lesbians but usually they're part of the porn.

What’s the best deal you’ve gotten recently? How did you find it/make it happen?

I got an offer I couldn't refuse. Luckily I managed to catch a mobster on the day of his daughter's wedding so he was inclined to do me a favour for an unspecified favour at some point in the future. Lucky the only thing I'm good at is driving vehicles really fast while being pursued by the police. I'm sure that a mobster would have no use for a talent like that.

By the way the Godfather is rubbish because Marlon Brando doesn't actually know how to speak. He was never taught because his parents were lazy hippies who thought that children should learn everything for themselves while they rolled around in the forest and fucked. True story. For a given value of true.

What is the biggest time-waster you run into during the day?

During the day specifically? What if I've ran into a timewaster in the nighttime? Does it not count? Does the lack of daylight make the whole event somehow not real as though it's a figment of my imagination. Well the last timewaster I met was during the night so you'll have to deal with it. Anyway I was walking down the nighttime streets of the night and a man comes up to me and says hello can I waste some of your time and so I spoke to him for half an hour and then realised that he wasn't there to waste my time at all. He was there to provide me with an amusing (okay not really amusing) story for the internet. Okay so that one was a figment of my imagination but only because I don't really meet timewasters. Not because it was nighttime. Which it wasn't because it never happened, or something. Using your imagination is confusing.

What indulgence could you not give up, regardless of the economic climate?

Chocolate and computer games. Sometimes I like to melt chocolate onto a computer game for double my pleasure and double my fun. Although not really because that would be creepy, unnecessary and just plain wrong.

What are some inexpensive ways you relax when you’re off-the-clock?

Watching paint dry is fairly inexpensive. So long as it ain't your paint. Hey that sounded like a catchy little slogan there. If I was advertising the prospect of watching paint dry that would totally be my slogan. There are many other inexpensive ways to relax when you're off the clock but I'm not going to go into them. It's become clear to me since I set up my imaginary paint-drying experience company that watching paint dry is the only way to relax and anyone who says otherwise is a heretic who must be put to death.

In regards to your professional life, how do you measure success?

In percentages.

What do you think about the US national anthem being cut short after Michael Phelps received the gold medal for the 400m individual medley?

I don't think about the US national anthem being cut short after Michael Phelps received the gold medal for the 400m individual medley. Mainly because I don't know what that is. Or who Michael Phelps is. Or what the 400m individual medley is. I always thought that a medley was a few different songs that were played together as part of a medley. I was not aware that it was an Olympic sport. Bill Bailey should totally enter the 400m individual medley. He's a brilliant medleyist.

Do you think Heath Ledger deserves the Oscar for his role in the Dark Knight?

So I've heard but I still haven't seen Batman Begins and I want to see that before seeing The Dark Knight. I blame Blockbusters. Hey you know Blockbusters the video shops, are they run by Bob Holness? Wouldn't it be weird if you went into Blockbusters the video shops and you had to discribe the video you were looking for in the style of Blockbusters. "What B is a 2005 rebirth of a film franchise starring Christian Bale?" And so on. That'd be brilliant.

If you could live forever how would you spend your time?

As I do now but for a lot longer into the future.

If you had to give up one of your five senses, which could you live without?

Smell. For definately. A nice smell is nice but a bad smell is bad. Of course you can say that about most things. It's nice to taste nice things and all that but you can not eat things which taste bad and not look at things that look bad. Hell you can even not listen to things that sound bad but smell? There's no escape from smell. Of course it's nice to have a sense of smell. Especially when you're about to light a match and you get a funny gas smell and it saves your life but if they can make gas smell what can't they make it make a beeping noise? No chance of explosions then.

If you could manipulate the color schemes of nature, what things in nature would you change the color of? What would you change them to?

To quote the All-American Rejects: "Green eyes, everything I see. Green skies... if left up to me." Other than that I'd leave everything be. I don't really like looking at nature and natural things and all that. Any guesses what I like looking at? Sometimes the colour pink is involved.

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