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Firefly - Jayne

What's That Coming Over The Hill? Is it a Random Review, Is it a Random Review?

Posted on 2008.07.23 at 15:43
Current Mood:: relaxedrelaxed
Tags: , , , , , , , ,
Okay so here we do with a very special birthday edition of the Random Review. This Random Review is technically something from wikipedia that I have picked especially so it isn't really what you'd call random but it is something I don't really know anything about and the reason I don't know anything about it will soon become evident.

So from the on this day section of the main page of wikipedia: "1986 – Sarah Ferguson married Prince Andrew, Duke of York at London's Westminster Abbey, joining the British Royal Family as the Duchess of York."
Wanna have a guess about what is significant about this particular event. Yes you guessed it. The significance lies that at that point in time I was just making my way into the world. Surprisingly unlike most people I materialised fully formed, already with a healthy obsession about lesbians, in a strip club in Denmark. Okay I didn't actually I went through all the necessary steps of growing up from a child like most people do but how cool would it have been if I had just popped into existence? The answer is extremely.

Anyway so although this event took place at the same time as the far more important event of my birth I think I should probably stick to reviewing the event which I've decided to review. So I'm going to go and read what it actually is that happened on the day of my birth now. I've always been a bit vague on the details as I was busy being born at the time. So what apparently happened is that Sarah Ferguson (the wife of the Manchester United manager) married Prince Andrew (actually she could have been his sister or something. If you're the wife of someone you don't tend to marry other people. Even if those other people are princes. Especially if they are prince Andrew). Then she became the Duchess of York. Not the Duchess of Yorkies. She's a different person entirely and arguably much more important. The Duchess of Yorkies is a chocolate loving superhero, she fights against evil and tasteless food. Her archnemesis is Comrade Cabbage (the russian supervillian who represents communism and healthy eating). In a strange twist of fate The Duchess of Yorkies actually got married on the same day. She married Prince Aero and was inducted into the Superhero Royal Family.

So getting back to the review this seems about the point where since I know nothing of the thing that's being reviewed I desperately grope for some kind of comparison I can make and then judge it based on that. I wasn't there but I bet that this wedding wasn't anywhere near as good as The Duchess of Yorkies wedding. Their best man was BestMan (the friendly superhero who always makes amusing speeches about the people he knows) and the Bridesmaids were Bridesmaid robots made by Nikola Tessellate (the symmetrical scientist). Plus The Duchess of Yorkies' wedding was a hilarious musical written by Joss Whedon. Although it was a bit tragic that at the end The Duchess rather unexpectedly died but that's Joss Whedon for you. Anyway time for the scores I reckon.

The Duchess of York's wedding gets just one slice of birthday cake because it can't be anywhere near as good as the musical superhero wedding I've made up in my own head.
The Duchess of Yorkies' wedding also gets a single slice of cake because a) it's not real and b) the ending is a bit of a downer.
Joss Whedon only gets two slices of cake because he's great but he refuses to write my musical superhero wedding.
and finally Doctor Horrible's Singalong Blog gets the rest of the cake because it's so fantastic. However it's then disqualified because I am actually familiar with Doctor Horrible's Singalong Blog which is, of course, against the rules of the Random Review. (for clarification I think DHSAB's portion of the cake gets thrown in the bin (which is incidentally what I've taken to calling my stomach))

Tune in next time for a random review of a Clutter.

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