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Tatu 33

From A Mountain In The Middle of the Lesbians

Posted on 2008.04.08 at 19:42
Current Music:: My Chemical Romance - Welcome To The Black Parade
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Okay so here I am to be some kind of performing monkey and do some kind of literary trick for you all. I mean the performing monkey in a completely abstract and metaphorical way. Although technically I am descended from a monkey (probably lesbian monkeys... if that's not wildly inappropriate (just think of Helena Bonham Carter in the 2001 remake of Planet of the Apes (but a lesbian version of that))). Anyway I was going to make a joke about performing monkeys doing a literary trick but that moment appears to have passed. It was going to be something along the lines of the put 1000 monkeys in a room and they'll produce shakespeare but there was going to be juggling involved in some context. It would have been awesome but it's been ruined by the thought of Helena Bonham Carter being a lesbian monkey. Something we'll probably never recover from. For the rest of my life I'll be sat in a corner white as a sheet with a sheet (ironically not a white one) pulled up over me just swaying back and forth mumbling something about lesbian monkeys.

That's a good point why do people say white as a sheet. My sheets are orange. I don't think I've ever seen anyone with white sheets apart from people in the olden days. Even then there must have been things that were more white than a sheet. Maybe a sheep. Sheep are white and it sounds so similar that most people probably wouldn't even notice that the phrase has changed. In short, it's perfect. From now on everyone should say white as a sheep. Tell your more easily impressionable friends that that is the correct phrase and any time they've heard sheet they've just misheard it.

Well that's that for today, join me again next time as I think about sexy lesbian flamingoes and correct the phrase pot calling the kettle black.

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