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Tatu 10

Ill Omens and Breaking & Entering

Posted on 2007.12.02 at 16:51
Current Music:: Somebody Elses Arms - Armor For Sleep
Tags: , , ,
Okay so this is somewhat of a two pronged thing. Number 1: I appear to have had some kind of prophetic dream and Number 2: I forgot to tell everyone an excellent story which involves both Ross Noble and breaking and entering. Don't worry it's nothing illegal, technically it isn't even breaking but entering was involved. Anyway first things first.

A while ago I had a dream about going back to college and finding one of the teachers was Russell Brand and attempting to find him and get him to sign my book. In my dream I failed, which I should have thought more about. That dream was a prophecy. Not the going back to college bit, or the Russell Brand as a home economics teacher bit, but the not getting my book signed bit. If I'm going to start having prophetic dreams I need to learn to start dreaming about sensible things.

Secondly and possibly more interestingly here's the story of how I got my Ross Noble tickets. I only just realised while trawling through the archives that I never told this story and so I'll tell it now. This happened in about Feburary. That was when I started having to go to this blood clinic place like once a week or so. I'm down to like once every few months now but thats another story. Lots of other stories to be precise. Anyway I was going up there with my nan, because I'd only just started going, and suddenly I realised that the Ross Noble tickets were due to go on sale at nine that morning. This blood clinic appointment was practically guaranteed to run on longer that and we were just waiting to see a man who'd tell me how much I needed to take a day. They'd already took the sample so we decided that nan would stay there and see the doctorman for me and I'd take the bus back and get the tickets while I could.
Luckily the man on the bus was powered by tangerines (i.e. mentally unstable and driving ridiculously fast) and I was back at my house in no time. However as I rounded our corner to see our house I had a sudden realisation, an epiphany, that my nan had been the one who'd locked up, and she'd took the keys because there was no point in us both having keys. Regardless of the fact that I'd got home early I was not going to be able to get into the house to get tickets. Disaster!

But I was not to give up so easily. I surveyed the front of the house and there was no possibility of entering through the front of the house, whereupon I went to the back (NOTE: THIS WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE TO REPRODUCE. ALL WINDOWS ARE NOW LOCKED AT ALL TIMES.) and espied that one of the small windows of the living room was left slightly ajar. That however was too small for anyone to get through. No this would require all my cunning. I cleverly climbed onto the outer windowsill and pried the upper window open. Then I strained onto my tiptoes so that I could reach through the upper window and to the lower window and turn the key, which was thankfully still in the lock. This was a strain in itself, and although I'd unlocked the window it was still immobile as long as the handle stayed in the downwards position. I took off my coat and using the small chain on the inside, which is used to hang up the coat under normal circumstances, I hooked the coat onto the handle, which I then pulled in order to turn the handle and open the window.

It was brilliant. I had an adventure and got in in time to get front row seats for Ross Noble. Although I must reiterate that this was not easy. It would be only the most determined robber that would attempt this time consuming and exposed entry into the house, and furthermore that that window is never open any more so even if there was any ridiculously determined thieves who wanted to do that it would still be impossible. So don't do it. No robbing my house. It's not allowed. Don't even think of it.


cube_166 at 2007-12-02 23:49 (UTC) (Link)

500 Livejournal Entries!

By the way this is my 500th Livejournal thing. It's astonishing, quite literally so to think that I've stuck with one thing for such a long time. Normally my exploits on things like this last an hour or so before they are cast aside for lesbians and ross noble.

Bet I never get to 1000!
cube_166 at 2008-10-03 17:32 (UTC) (Link)

Re: 500 Livejournal Entries!

Hah! I've just got to 1000! I guess I sure showed me! Bet I never get to 2000 though!
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