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Tatu 14

Three Actual Reviews For The Price of One

Posted on 2008.09.28 at 16:58
Current Mood:: blahblah
Tags: , , , , , ,
So I'm genuinely going to review My Name Is Earl and Merlin today. How awesome would it be if they were to combine and become My Name Is Mearlin? For example Earl learns he has magic powers and sets about crossing things off his while attempting to fulfil his destiny and keep his magic secret. And Crabman becomes a dragon.

...

Okay so it doesn't sound very awesome but you must respect it for the sheer punnage involved. And that's the law.


My Name Is Earl:
So the first episode has Seth Green in it. Seth Green who was Oz in Buffy. He's probably been in other things but I haven't watched other things. It gets automatic points for that. One thing you can always say about My Name Is Earl is that it's largely wholesome family viewing. There's very little backstabbing and suspicion and all that kind of stuff. This was especially evident when I was watching it I believed that Oz was scamming Earl and was going to take all of his money and run away. I personally wouldn't classify that irrational belief as paranoia, just a remnant from watching shows where I'm attempting to work out what's going to happen ahead of time. Could you imagine what My Name Is Earl would be like if it was like Heroes, or something, and full of plot twists and backstabbing and everything? Nope. Me neither. Anyway poor old Oz is dying and just wants to make a film where he's a secret agent. Good times and blood transfusions are had by all and in the end he flies off to Paris on rocketboots.

Monkeys Take A Bath is the name of the next episode although I don't know why. As far as I remember there was no monkeys and no baths. Hell I don't even think there was any takes. Anyway Earl's making up for causing his old next door neighbours to move, except it's not his fault but the fault of his mother who had an affair with said next door neighbour. His parents split up, fight a large woman and then look for women to have sex with, eventually declining the services of a prostitute by day. Yeah forget what I said about it being a wholesome show suitable for all the family. In the end though everyone has learnt a very important lesson about forgiveness and having sex with next door neighbours (the lesson is: forgive people and have sex with next door neighbours so long as you don't mean it). You know what? I don't think that My Name Is Earl is one of those programs that you can review. I think it's one of those programs you watch, enjoy and then file away in the back of your brains never to be consulted upon again. Not that there is anything wrong with that. The fact of the matter is that all programs are not created equally. Some have better special effects while others have better and more in depth storylines and others have outrageous comedy. Sometimes programs have none of the above but are founded upon a good idea and so everyone gives them the benefit of the doubt until one day the entire cast kills themselves out of pure unrealised potential. Then a nation goes into mourning and pretty soon the only fire trucks you can find have been painted black and your cat is living in a tree!

...

Or something. Anyway.

Merlin:
Prince Arthur is a bit more sympathetic this week which is stunning. I was quite literally stunned. Someone had a look at me and said "my gosh don't you look startled" and I said "no I'm stunned you idiot" then we had an argument and eventually I went to the doctor to see which I was and it turned out that I was both and also that I had far too much time on my hands. He asked if I'd like to donate some of my spare time to children who were running out of time up and down the country but I said "no" and he said "please stop coming in here and making obscure remarks to south park then" and I said "okay. I was watching Merlin anyway so I'll go back and see what's going on there."
So anyway I thought the point was that Arthur was supposed to be an unlikeable character who would mellow as time passed. I didn't think he was supposed to be a character who was unlikeable in the first episode and suddenly he trusts Merlin's word implicitly and then goes out on a limb just because he says so. Personally I think that was a bit quick, but hey I can go with it. Also what was that Valiant's issue with Arthur? It wasn't just about winning a tournament. He was in it for proper revenge. He went to all the trouble of getting a specially enchanted shield. It would have been nice to have a reason for this revenge attempt but then again Arthur is a bit of dick. It's safe to assume that Valiant had met him once and found his dickishness to be offputting. I'm betting that there's going to be a fair amount of people wanting to kill Arthur. I'm rather beginning to suspect that he might be in danger each week from another character from a BBC Three program. First Gwen from Torchwood wants him dead. Next up is one of the characters from Two Packets of Crisps and Another Packet of Crisps Please or whatever it's called (I used to watch it, sue me). Next week Noel Fielding off of the Mighty Boosh is going to attempt to murder Arthur with a magic potion. Merlin will save him at the last minute after going down to see the dragon for a nice semi-cryptic chat about the future and a muffin.

Oh and nice one Victor Meldrew. Ever seen any TV program ever made? Leave someone on their own and they're going to die. You might try writing that one down.

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